Birth, Motherhood and Finding my Calling in Life
There is a quotation that I love to use and it goes:
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” -Osho
And so it is true. When I gave birth to each of my babies, I not only birthed a brand new Human Being, I also birthed another facet of myself. And both times a new facet of me was born that could be understood under the umbrella term ‘mother’ but it’s so much more than that.
Becoming a mother helped me to learn about myself, giving me a new confidence and opening up my world to a myriad possibilities that I’d never have explored otherwise. It brought me out of my quagmire of loneliness mixed with aimless wandering through weekends of parties with people who were nice but who I really didn’t get to know on any level deeper than a beer and a dance.
People often say that the whole ‘mum friends’ thing is tricky- you bond over late pregnancy hormones (and hemorrhoids), drink coffee whilst cooing over eachother’s baby’s chubby thighs and comiserate during late-night/early-morning facebook chats about baby’s sleeping (or lack thereof)… so it may well be that this tenuous bond will soon break, once the other mums find out that before you had a baby you smoked 20 a day and frequented the KitKat Club! (For the record, this is not me). For me it wasn’t so: Friendships that started in the context of children grew up with them and have developed into the strong and lasting relationships that I longed for in my pre-child days in Berlin.
Additionally, having children connected me with a network of expats that led me to discovering two new skills. The first (and coincidentally, discovered after child#1 was born)- cake decorating: I didn’t know I was capable of producing intricate images and models to delight children on their birthdays! My foray into sugarcraft was a lovely adventure but a little too time-consuming in relation to financial benefit.
The second skill is connecting: Since I didn’t really have so many ‘connections’ before motherhood, I didn’t really do much connecting. But since the birth of my second son, I occasionally feel like I can see the Matrix- there’s a red line running between some people and they just need to meet eachother! I love bringing people together!
Aaaand, if it wasn’t for motherhood and the birth of the connector in me, I wouldn’t have come across the concept of my current job and found my calling in life (I love a good cliché!)
So yes, the birth of my children has meant my own rebirth- L, the mother, the baker, the connector and now, the mother who loves her life, her job, her family and sees some hope of being able to combine these things in the right measures.