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The Chopping Block

November 8, 2013

Since this week started on an egotistical note, it might as well end on one..

You may remember that my job circumstances changed in August, when the company I worked for was sold and I, pregnant, overpaid and underworked, screaming out for more responsibility and more exciting work to do, was left like the last bag of trash when my contract wasn’t taken over by said company. Lucky for me, German law protected my ass because I’m pregnant so the mother company, with whom I was left took me under her wing and made sure I kept a paid position. Others weren’t so fortunate.

I tried to look on the bright side: This would be a new opportunity to prove to myself that I am capable, experienced, professional and in effect ‘worth it’. I worked at integrating myself back into my ‘old’ company and tried to forget about the slap in the face that I received in August and the colleagues I miss even now.

It hasn’t really worked though. I can’t get over the feeling of injustice. I can’t stop asking myself “Is it because I told them I’m pregnant?” or “Is it because I’m simply shit at what I do?” The reason I was given was that the area in which I was working wasn’t self-sustaining so that they “had to let some people go”.

Well screw that! There’s a reason why I’m revisiting the topic: The knowledge that my ex-colleagues are totally overworked right now. By offering myself on a platter (asking for more to do- also in other areas/departments), I thought I was being flexible and showing initiative but all I was doing was putting my head on the damn chopping block and that makes me incredibly bitter.

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