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Parent Rage

December 31, 2011

I recently had my first case of ‘parent rage’. Said incident was in a play café, not far from my home, where I met up with a few girlfriends and their kids for the afternoon.The kids were playing nicely (0r as nicely as 18-month-old kids can play) when some additional mums arrived, one with a little girl.

Of course, Philipp being a typical child, wants everything that other kids have in their hands. There may have been a whole pool full of balls, he still wanted the ones that the precious and delicate little girl had in her hands at that moment. The mother rushed to her daughter’s aid, shouted at Philipp, grabbed the balls from his hands, gave them to her daughter and sat down again.*

BOY WAS I ENRAGED. Heart thumping against my ribcage, I couldn’t even muster up a sentence in German, never mind give her the tongue-lashing she deserved. A few deep breaths later and things were going relatively well until, once again, big, boisterous Philipp shoved a little too quickly past the girl and she fell over. Onto her bottom. And didn’t cry.

Again, Super(moronic)mum rushed to her daughter’s aid, picking her little defenceless baby up and shouting at poor Philipp. At this point, I entered something I call ‘Assi-mode’ (Assi= something like chav/trailertrash) and shouted back that there was absolutely no need to scold in badass slang German (which I learned from my wonderful German man and probably some hiphop that I heard).

In reality, I wanted to stab her to death with a cake fork like a real Assi. Also in reality, I may have made a few grammatical errors and not shouted as loud as I might have done in my mother tongue. Nevertheless, the thumping of my heart and curtain of red rage before me was a brand new experience: parent rage. So beware, parents of Berlin. DO NOT CROSS THE LADY WITH THE CAKE FORK!

*Schoolgirl error: if she had any experience with older children, she would have known to put exactly the same thing into his hands and say calmly that we don’t take from others.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 2, 2012 19:09

    Did no one tell you that parents are assholes? God knows, my mum’s a right cow…

  2. April 29, 2013 08:56

    hahaha. oh man. that mom.

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