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Look- no hands!

August 27, 2010

As I was carrying little P around the apartment whilst trying to cook my dinner and do various other little chores that non-parents probably take for granted, I considered how adaptable us Parents really are…

Trouble turning on the (gas) cooker? Use knee to press in nob, and free hand to light gas. (Beware, babies are highly flammable and should be kept well away from naked flames at all times)

Unable to bend down? Bend backwards, limbo style whilst balancing baby on stomach/chest to manage those lower reaches. (Not suitable for those with weak backs)

Hungry at the same time as baby? Try balancing plate on baby/nearby cushion if plate is hot whilst breastfeeding (not suitable for those of the male gender) and always make sure those larger foods are cut into mouth-sized pieces since you can only choose one implement with which to eat. Or find a kind soul to cut your food/feed you (WARNING: Can have a detrimental effect on Human dignity)

It’s true- much of the time, we are incapacitated to the point of not even being able to stand up and answer the door within the allotted time before the postperson gets pissed off and leaves you a package notice instead of bringing your 10kg order up the stairs to your 3rd floor apartment meaning at best said package gets left with your downstairs neightbour who offers to carry it up the stairs for you and at worst you have to go to the packet shop and pick it up yourself with small person and buggy in tow.

So you with both hands free, treasure it and ‘give a hand’ where possible (ouch). And postpeople, kiss my a***!

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