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I was a problem child

February 25, 2009

Problem children: They’re everywhere, even in Germany. ‘Teenager ausser Kontrolle’ on RTL told me this because as I mentioned in my previous post, most of the kids I encounter seem to be relatively harmless. Maybe those kids were post or pre problem child phase.

As I remember it, my ‘problem child phase’ was short but painful for us all. There were packed bags, tears and screaming of quotes from the Bible.

I was 17. I’d met a boy who, rather than frequenting the local park with a bottle of cider in hand, frequented a church. So, shunning all unwholesome activity, I followed him on his holier than thou religion trip like a lamb to the slaughter. I wonder if he was on commission from the Big Man Upstairs.

Imagine living with a member of the Westboro Baptist Church: That’s what it must’ve been like for my parents. I bet they would have preferred me coming home trollied , stinking of cigs with a heroin needle still in my arm.

Fortunately, he dumped me and married the pure-as-driven-snow daughter of a Minister and, religion having saved me from simply ending it all (remember, I was 17), I went to uni, got laid, lived in sin and became a normal Human Being (rather than a religious nut).

Sorry Mam and Dad for the Fire and Brimstone. At least you got the run-of-the-mill issues with Steven!

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